A friend of mine told me recently that he had volunteered for a sports group in his village and was so enthusiastic to help that it actually worked against him. “How can that be?” I asked, “surely the people wanted your help, I wouldn’t say no to you helping me! But as he continued to tell me his story, of how his enthusiasm was perceived as ‘cleverness’ or a ‘know-it-all’, I felt sad for him as he is one of the most giving people I know, he would share any of his skills and experience and help anyone in difficulty.
It got me thinking of how our culture doesn’t always embrace skills and experience. Just look at the maths equation below:
· 1+1=2
· 2+2=4
· 3+3=6
· 4+4=9
What’s your immediate reaction, did you notice what was wrong before you noticed what was right? It isn’t a trick; our brains do often perceive this mistake first and only through self-awareness can we learn to override it. I had no great advice for my friend, other than to move away from people that didn’t appreciate him, or it would eventually affect his confidence and self-esteem. There are enough groups in this world that would be immensely grateful for his help, so I told him to just find a more appreciative group and not fight the culture in the group he had joined.
I’ve worked a great deal on culture change in my corporate work and it is never a quick fix and needs strong buy in and has to be driven from the senior leadership. This can then cascade all the way through the hierarchy and eventually people either change their ways of thinking/working or they leave and find another organisation to work for. In a local voluntary group it is harder to change a negative culture and from my experience it would be better to walk away.
Great article here by Forbes if you’d like to learn more. Link